Unit 4A - Super Kids and Super Problems
There is nothing wrong with wanting children to do their best, but the problem is: parents in search of excellence are pushing their children too far and too fast.
Super Kids and Super Problems
David Elkind
Not so long ago, most parents wanted their kids to be like everybody else. They were often as upset if a child were precocious as they were if the child were slow. Precocity was looked upon as being bad for the child's psychological health. The assumption was "early ripe, early rot."
Now that has changed. For many parents today there is no such thing as going too fast, and their major concern is that their child stay ahead of the pack. Far from presuming that precocity has bad effects psychologically, they believe that being above the norm brings many benefits. The assumption is "early ripe, early rich!"
The major consequence of this new parenting psychology is that many contemporary parents are putting tremendous pressure on children to perform at ever-earlier ages. A first grade teacher told me that an angry mother screamed at her because she had given the woman's son a "Satisfactory." "How is he ever going to get into M.I.T. if you give him a 'Satisfactory?'" the mother wailed.
Many parents now enroll their child in prestigious nursery schools as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed. And once the child is old enough, they coach the child for the screening interview." When they count everything in sight, one nursery school director said, "you know they have been drilled before the interview." Parents believe that only if the child gets into this or that prestigious nursery school will he or she ever have a chance at getting into Harvard, Yale, or Stanford. For the same reason, our elementary schools are suddenly filled with youngsters in enriched and accelerated programs.
It is not just in academic study that children are being pushed harder at ever-earlier ages. Some parents start their preschool children in sports such as tennis and swimming in hopes that they will become Olympic athletes. A young man who attended one of my child development lectures stopped by afterward to ask me a question. He works as a tennis instructor at an exclusive resort hotel in Florida and wanted to know how to motivate his students. When I asked how old they were he told me that they ranged in age from three to five years!
The pressure to make ordinary children exceptional has become almost an epidemic in sports. I had high hopes for soccer, which can be played by all makes and models of children, big, small, and in between. But in most states soccer has become as competitive and selective as baseball, football, and hockey. The star mentality prevails, and the less talented youngster simply doesn't get to participate. Play is out and competition is in.
The pressure for exceptionality is equally powerful at the secondary level. High school students are pressured not only to get good grades but to get into as many advanced-placement classes as possible. Around the country private tutoring centers are sprouting up like dandelions in the spring, offering lessons in everything from beginning reading to taking college entrance exams. Other parents urge their children to start dating at an early age so that they will have good interpersonal skills and a better chance to win the most eligible mates.
Clearly, there is nothing wrong with wanting children to do their best. It is not the normal, healthy desire of parents to have successful children that is the problem, but the excessive pressure some parents are putting on children.
Why this push for excellence? Since parents today are having fewer children their chances of having "a child to be proud of" are lower than when families were larger. The cost of child rearing has also increased dramatically, so a successful child also protects one's investment. But most of all, many of today's parents have carved out their own successful careers and feel very much in charge of their lives. They see no reason they should not take charge of child rearing in the same manner and with the same success. A successful child is the ultimate proof of their success.
The result is that many parents are far too intrusive. By deciding what and when children should learn, they rob them of the opportunity to take the initiative, to take responsibility for their mistakes and credit for their achievements. Such practices run the risk of producing children who are dependent and lacking in self-esteem. Today's parents want super kids, but what they are often getting are super problems.
Although correlation is certainly not causation, it is hard not to connect the reported increase in stress symptoms over the last decade with the pressure on today's children to be super kids. The stories I hear as I travel about the country are frightening. A girl who was involved in four different out-of-school activities (ballet, horseback riding, Brownies, and music lessons) developed severe facial tics at age eight. Irving Sigel of Educational Testing Service tells the story of a six-year-old who, while doing her homework, asked her mother, "If I don't get there right, will you kill me?" A woman told me that her seven-year-old grandson ran away from home (and all the after-school lessons) and came to her house, where he could have milk and cookies and play with the dog. One mother asked me if I could cure her six-year-old son of his nail biting by hypnosis or by teaching him relaxation. When I suggested that a less demanding extracurricular program might help, she replied, "Oh no, we can't do that."
Such child behavior problems are symptomatic of our times. Our trouble is that we always seem to go to extremes. Parents are either too permissive or too pushy. Healthy child rearing demands a middle ground. Certainly we need to make demands on our children. But they have to be tailored to the child's interests and abilities. We put our children at risk for short-term stress disorders and long-term personality problems when we ignore their individuality and impose our own priorities "for their own good."
I believe that we need to abandon the false notions that we can create exceptional children by early instruction, and that such children are symbols of our competence as parents. And I believe we should be as concerned with character as with success. If we have reared a well-mannered, good, and decent person, we should take pleasure and pride in that fact. More likely than not, if we have achieved those goals, the child's success will take care of itself. Each child has a unique pattern of qualities and abilities that makes him or her special. In this sense, every single child is a super kid.
参考译文——超级孩子与超级问题
希望孩子们竭尽全力并没有什么不对，但问题是：追求卓越的家长们正把他们的孩子逼得太远也太快了。
超级孩子与超级问题
戴维·埃尔金德
不久前，大多数家长还在希望他们的孩子像别的孩子一样。如果一个孩子早熟，他们往往会忧心忡忡，就像孩子反应迟钝会让他们心烦一样。早熟被看作是不利于孩子心理健康的。人们的想法是“早熟早烂”。
现在的观念已经变了。对今天的很多家长来说，根本就没有“走得太快”这回事。他们主要关心的事是他们的孩子处于领先地位。他们非但根本不相信早熟在心理上有什么坏的影 响，反而认为高于平均水平会带来诸多好处。他们的想法是:“早熟早富!”
这种养育孩子的新心理产生了一种重要的后果，即许多当代的父母正在对孩子施加巨大的压力，让他们在越来越早的年龄就有出色表现。一位一年级的老师告诉我，一个愤怒的母亲曾对着她大声喊叫，因为她给了这位妇女的儿子一个“令人满意的”评语。这位母亲大声地抱怨说:“如果你给他一个‘令人满意的,评语，他以后还怎么进麻省理工学院呢？”
怀孕一经证实，现在的许多父母就会在几所赫赫有名的幼儿园给孩子先报上名。一旦孩子稍大一点，他们就给孩子做筛选面试的指导。一位幼儿园的园长说当孩子们给眼前的东西数数时，你就知道他们在面试前已受过训练。”父母们认为，除非孩子进了这所或那所有名的幼儿园，否则将来就决不会有机会进哈佛、耶鲁或斯坦福大学。由于同样的原因，我们的小学也突然充满了进强化班和快班的孩子。
孩子们在越来越小的年龄就受到越来越紧的逼迫，这种情况不仅限于学习方面。有些父母还让他们的学龄前子女开始从事体育训练，如打网球，练游泳，希望他们能成为奥运会选手。一位听我儿童成长讲座的年轻人课后留下来问了我一个问题。他在佛罗里达州一家旅游胜地的豪华宾馆里担任网球教练，他想知道如何才能激发学员的学习兴趣。当我问他他们多大时，他告诉我他们的年龄在三至五岁之间！
迫使普通孩子出类拔萃的压力几乎已经成为体育方面的一种流行病。我曾对足球寄予厚望，因为各种体质、各种类型的孩子，身材高大的、个子矮小的，以及介乎两者之间的，都能踢足球。但在大多数州，足球已经像棒球、橄榄球和冰球一样成为竞技性的体育项目，参加者都是经过严格筛选的。明星心态盛行，而天赋稍逊的孩子压根儿就没有机会参与。玩耍已经过时，而竞赛则大行其道。
追求卓越的压力在中学这个层面上同样很大。中学生经受的压力不仅仅是要取得好成绩，还要尽量多地进入各种快班。在全国各地，私人开办的辅导中心正在像春天的蒲公英一样迅速出现，它们开的课从初级阅读到大学人学考试一应俱全。其他父母则鼓励孩子年纪轻轻就与人约会，为的是让他们培养良好的人际交往能力，有更好的机会赢得合意的配偶。
显然，希望孩子们竭尽全力并没有什么不对。问题不在于父母希望孩子成功这种正常的、 健康的愿望，而在于有些家长对孩子施加了过多的压力。
为什么会有这种追求卓越的压力呢？今天的父母生养的孩子比过去少了，所以他们有“一个值得骄傲的孩子”的机会也比子女多时减少了。养育孩子的成本也大大提高了，所以子女的成功也能保护家长的投资。但最为重要的是，今天的许多父母都是通过自己的艰苦努力才创立出一番成功的事业的，他们深深地意识到要为自己的生活负责。他们看不出有什么理由不该以同样的方式来主管孩子的培养并取得同样的成功。一个成功的孩子就是他们成功的最终证明。
结果是许多父母干预过多。他们决定孩子该在什么时候学什么东西，从而剥夺了他们采取主动、为自己的错误负责、为自己的成就获得赞誉的机会。这样的作法冒着很大的危险，即培养出来的孩子有依赖性，并缺少自尊心。今天的父母想要超级孩子，但他们得到的却往往是超级问题。
虽然相关未必就是因果关系，但却很难不把过去十年中报道的各种紧张症状的增加同施加于今天孩子身上要他们成为超级孩子的压力联系起来。我在全国各地旅游时听到的很多故事都令人不寒而栗。一个女孩参加了四种校外活动（芭蕾、骑马、幼年女童子军和音乐课），八岁时就患了严重的面部抽搐症。教育考试服务中心的欧文·西格尔讲述了一个六岁女孩的故事：她在做家庭作业时问母亲:“如果我作业做得不对，你会杀了我吗?”一位女士告诉我，她七岁的孙子放学后不回家，也不再去上别的课，而是来到她家，因为在她这里他可以喝牛奶，吃曲奇饼干，还可以跟狗一起玩。一位母亲问我能否用催眠术或教会他放松来治好她六岁儿子咬指甲的坏毛病。当我建议说只要降低课外学习计划的要求就会有所帮助时，她却回答说:“这可不行，我们不能这样做。”
此类孩子的行为问题是我们时代的反应。我们的问题在于我们似乎总是走极端。父母不是太宽容放任就是太执意强求。健康的儿童养育需要一种中间立场。我们无疑需要对我们的孩子提出要求。但这些要求应适应孩子的兴趣和能力。当我们无视他们的个性，“为了他们好”而把我们自己最为关注的东西强加于他们时，我们就把我们的孩子置于短期的紧张病和长期的个性问题的危险中了。
我认为我们应该放弃这样错误的观念，即我们可以通过早期教育培养出出众的孩子，这样的孩子是我们作为父母称职的标志。我还认为，我们应该像关心成功一样关心性格。如果我们培养出一个彬彬有礼、心地善良、作风正派的人，我们就应该为此感到高兴和自豪。如果我们达到了这些目标，那么孩子的成功很可能就会水到渠成。每个孩子都有其独特的品质和能力，使其与众不同。从这个意义上说，每一个孩子都是超级孩子。
Key Words:
psychologically [,psaikə'lɔdʒikəli]
adv. 心理上地；心理学地
pressure ['preʃə]
n. 压力，压强，压迫
v. 施压
precocious [pri'kəuʃəs]
adj. 早熟的
psychological [.saikə'lɔdʒikəl]
adj. 心理(学)的
consequence ['kɔnsikwəns]
n. 结果，后果
norm [nɔ:m]
n. 标准，规范
upset [ʌp'set]
adj. 心烦的，苦恼的，不安的
v. 推翻，
excellence ['eksələns]
n. 优秀，卓越，优点
rot [rɔt]
n. 腐烂，腐蚀，败坏
v. 腐烂，使 ...
contemporary [kən'tempərəri]
n. 同时代的人
prestigious [pres'tidʒiəs]
adj. 享有声望的，声望很高的
motivate ['məutiveit]
vt. 给与动机，激发(兴趣或欲望)
elementary [.elə'mentəri]
adj. 基本的，初级的，元素的
director [di'rektə, dai'rektə]
n. 董事，经理，主管，指导者，导演
resort [ri'zɔ:t]
n. (度假)胜地，手段，凭借
vi. 诉诸，
coach [kəutʃ]
n. 大巴，教练;(火车)客车车厢，四轮马车，经济舱
exclusive [iks'klu:siv]
adj. 独占的，唯一的，排外的
n. 独家新
academic [.ækə'demik]
adj. 学术的，学院的，理论的
pregnancy ['pregnənsi]
n. 怀孕
interview ['intəvju:]
n. 接见，会见，面试，面谈
exceptional [ik'sepʃənl]
adj. 例外的，异常的，特别的，杰出的
selective [si'lektiv]
adj. 选择的，选择性的
pressure ['preʃə]
n. 压力，压强，压迫
v. 施压
talented ['tæləntid]
adj. 有才能的，有天赋的
baseball ['beis.bɔ:l]
n. 棒球
excessive [ik'sesiv]
adj. 过多的，过分的
competition [kɔmpi'tiʃən]
n. 比赛，竞争，竞赛
excellence ['eksələns]
n. 优秀，卓越，优点
competitive [kəm'petitiv]
adj. 竞争的，比赛的
participate [pɑ:'tisipeit]
vt. 分享
frightening ['fraitniŋ]
adj. 令人恐惧的，令人害怕的 动词frighten的
relaxation [.ri:læk'seiʃən]
n. 松弛，放松，消遣
extracurricular [.ekstrəkə'rikjulə]
adj. 课外的
correlation [.kɔ:ri'leiʃən]
n. 相互关系，相关
opportunity [.ɔpə'tju:niti]
n. 机会，时机
decade ['dekeid]
n. 十年
pressure ['preʃə]
n. 压力，压强，压迫
v. 施压
credit ['kredit]
n. 信用，荣誉，贷款，学分，赞扬，赊欠，贷方
demanding [di'mændiŋ]
adj. 要求多的，吃力的
intrusive [in'tru:siv]
adj. 打搅的，侵扰的
stress [stres]
n. 紧张，压力
v. 强调，着重
exceptional [ik'sepʃənl]
adj. 例外的，异常的，特别的，杰出的
ignore [ig'nɔ:]
vt. 不顾，不理，忽视
competence ['kɔmpitəns]
n. 能力，管辖权，技能
pattern ['pætən]
n. 图案，式样，典范，模式，型
v. 以图案
impose [im'pəuz]
v. 加上，课征，强迫，征收(税款)
symbols ['simbəls]
n. 符号；象征；标志；符号表（symbol的复数）
permissive [pə(:)'misiv]
adj. 许可的，获准的，放任的，纵容的
abandon [ə'bændən]
v. 放弃，遗弃，沉溺
n. 放纵
decent ['di:snt]
adj. 体面的，正派的，得体的，相当好的
参考资料：
- 大学英语精读(第三版) 第五册: unit4A Super Kids and Super Problems(1)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语
- 大学英语精读(第三版) 第五册: unit4A Super Kids and Super Problems(2)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语
- 大学英语精读(第三版) 第五册: unit4A Super Kids and Super Problems(3)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语
- 大学英语精读(第三版) 第五册: unit4A Super Kids and Super Problems(4)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语
大学英语精读(第三版) 第五册: unit4A Super Kids and Super Problems(5)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语