Personal understanding:
lack of motivation and anhedonia; remove disguise, discover yourself, self-awareness × courage. It is
much easier to drift with the crowd and self-deception than to make major changes; develop objectivity in the process of self-awareness and
live authentically, so that you can live a fulfilling life - - Truth is not worth living. The true self is always suppressed by society. Of course, this is because you are not strong enough. Don’t
let any factors you are “doing” hinder what you want to “be”.
Self-awareness is sometimes Reflect on yourself by observing others; dig deep into the core to discover your inner true self
How to know yourself better?
Recently, due to the departure of singer Coco Lee, "depression" has once again occupied the topic list. It is understood that the most critical cause of depression is lack of motivation and anhedonia, just like a train losing fuel and power unit. From another perspective, we need to actively understand ourselves. This reminds me of the famous sculptor Michelangelo, who believed that those lifelike figures already existed in those marbles, and he just chipped away the excess gravel to release them. Do you feel like you are trapped in a stone or wearing some kind of mask? How to get rid of disguise and discover yourself? Your tools are: self-awareness x courage.
Explore reality early.
Babies begin to gain self-awareness between 8 months and 24 months. During this period, they begin to form their own thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and understand how they are different from other people and things. It was from then on that we worked hard to practice Oscar Wilde's famous saying: "Play yourself, because everyone else has already been played." The process of a person's growth can be to realize the expectations of others for you. Expect and keep striving instead of realizing your dream and working hard to achieve it. As teenagers, one of the concepts we are constantly instilled in is "responsibility" and the ability to respond appropriately to various situations and life. But if we tend to be conservative, the word "responsibility" loses its meaning. When something happens, we jump into action without giving it enough thought. There are many factors that influence our behavior: our parents, the rules of our community, our general mood, and of course our own growing self-awareness. While some people need to completely change themselves—their last name, religion, body, or even gender—in order to pursue their authenticity, most of us are dealing with just a little bit of the pangs of self-betrayal. We are aware or feel when we have strayed from our true path, and when we give ourselves time to recognize this, the thin veil of dissatisfaction with the status quo is lifted. In early adulthood, our identity begins to form or stabilize, and we begin to live our lives around it. However, in fact, the more we invest in this identity, the more painful it will be one day when we realize that we have strayed completely from the true path. For many people, it’s easier to just go with the flow and fool themselves than it is to make big changes. Who has the time or the ability to keep chipping away at rocks to find the true self hidden within them? Psychologists confirm that authenticity is not just a part of happiness or its prerequisite, but the essence of how happiness and health work. Only by living authentically can we live fully.
Your Tools: Self-Awareness and Courage
Now realize that you need two basic tools to start carving your true self out of the marble: self-awareness and courage. Both are extremely important. Self-awareness without courage means that you know yourself, but others do not know you. People who have courage but lack self-awareness show off. So it's a multiplication, not a simple addition equation, because the magic of these emotions creates authenticity. Self-awareness means you are a master of the emotional hide-and-seek game. As teenagers, as we try to fit in, whether we join sports clubs, cheerleading teams, drama clubs, or no club at all, we tend to hide who we really are or base our identity primarily on the clubs we belong to. We become accustomed to listening to the sounds and dynamics of the outside world, but forget the inner voice. We care so much about giving a good impression to the outside world that we forget the essence of authenticity. Carl Jung believed that at some point in our middle years, “the sparks of self-awareness buried deep beneath our personality begin to turn into raging flames. At this point, the overly repressed or hidden self will overwhelm recognition. itself, thus starting a period of personal chaos." This is also known as the "midlife crisis." The greatest challenge in this phase is finding the willingness to let go of who you think you are now in order to discover who you could be. This is also the path to discovering your true self. So how do you open yourself up to the path of self-exploration and awakening without the help of an expert, a therapist, and a digging hard hat? First of all, if you are going to do it alone and "witness" your true self, you must look at it objectively. Day-to-day patterns of thought and behavior can make it difficult to discern authenticity and take responsibility. Going deeper into self-awareness requires you to be as unabashedly yourself as possible and try not to judge, because harsh comments will end the archaeological dig. To develop objectivity in the process of self-awareness, you can use the following four sets of questions:
1. Who knows you best? Are their comments about you more accurate than others? Do you act differently in their presence than you would in other situations? What emotions do you experience in their presence, and what are their sources?
2.What is your biggest disguise in life today? In other words, when are your actions least consistent with who you really are? Under what circumstances would you fall into such a polar opposite? How do you deal with or compensate for this sense of departure? How do you think it affects others and the relationships in your life?
3. Whenever a manager wants to join my company, my favorite question to ask is: What is the most commonly misunderstood thing about you in the workplace (or at home)? Why? What is the "real you"? Why don’t others see the real you that you want them to see? What's the worst mistake you've ever made in your career, and what lessons did you learn from it? Answering these questions requires a certain amount of self-awareness and courage.
4. If an objective observer who didn't know you was observing you 24 hours a day for a month, what three strengths and weaknesses do you think he would list? What do you think of these 6 descriptions of yourself?
Courage is the natural result of spending enough time in tune with your inner self. In fact, the Latin root of the word “courage” refers to the center of the body, your heart. Courage requires a strong mind. A person who has been integrated into society for many years and has self-awareness will be proud of it when he enters his inner world. Feeling self-improvement and self-release creates the motivation to find courage and allow you to show up as your authentic self. Once you move in that positive direction, this spontaneous ripple effect will give you the courage to be your authentic self. Self-awareness does feel good. The book "Character Strengths and Virtues" co-authored by Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman lists six great human virtues, and courage is among them. Courage can be broken down into four parts: courage, perseverance, honesty and enthusiasm. Let’s look at how courage shows up in your life.
Courage: When was the last time you stood up for what was right in a difficult situation? Ernest Hemingway defined courage as “grace under pressure.” It requires the ability to withstand physical and psychological trauma, as well as the ability to endure being unpopular or non-mainstream.
Perseverance:Think back to a time when you persisted in an idea, goal, or relationship when others may have given up long ago. Was that a sign of courage or foolishness? If it is courage and your persistence has produced results, how do you feel? Does it give you more courage?
Honesty: Can you imagine a day when you would have to risk telling the truth even though there might be dire consequences? Living a life of honesty and integrity is what we always aspire to, but in many cases, this requires a lot of courage, such as being the whistleblower at work, or standing up and revealing the truth at home.
Enthusiasm: Have you or others ever encountered something hopeless, but your positivity and enthusiasm for life enabled your team to remain calm and courageous in difficult situations? Courage is contagious, and sometimes as long as one has confidence, everything will go smoothly.
Analyze this equation: Authenticity = Self-awareness × Courage
Make a list of “I want to be…” We’re all familiar with a “to-do” list, and some of us feel overwhelmed without it. But when was the last time you made an “I want to be…” list? What do you really want to be when you grow up? This encompasses a range of identities, such as being a mother or being a leader at work or in the community. It could also be a set of qualities you aspire to, like maintaining a sense of lightness and humor no matter what, or being a source of wisdom for your entire extended family. Just be careful not to let anything about what you're "doing" get in the way of what you want to "be."If you have doubts, ask yourself: "What do I want to be, rather than what do I need to do to express my true self in this world?" Your Shadow: What Does It Teach You? Sometimes in the process of self-awareness, you see your own dark side in others. Think of a few people who have made you feel very frustrated. What qualities about them tend to irritate you the most? For example, someone you know likes to snoop and talk about other people's private things, and it drives you crazy. Have you done the same and made excuses for yourself? Do you become active because you crave attention, recognition, or a position? Self-awareness sometimes comes from observing and reflecting on others, not just those you admire and want to emulate, but also those who are like mirrors. What would Herb do? For years, I kept a picture of Southwest Airlines founder and former CEO Herb Kelleher on my desk as a reminder when I was overwhelmed by some business challenge that required something rebellious and bold. Think of him when you have thoughts. When we are at a low point in our self-awareness, most of us react rather than respond to challenges. We let habits take care of the problem, which means we give up the opportunity for courage to shine. Think of a naturally courageous person in your life who possesses one or more of the following four qualities: courage, perseverance, honesty, and enthusiasm. Next time you are faced with a challenge to which you would normally react timidly, imagine your role model of courage sitting on your shoulder giving you advice. Get ready to dig. Draw a circle on a piece of paper and write “True Self” in the center. Then use this circle as the core and draw a series of circles around it. The more you feel contrary to yourself, the more circles you draw. Starting with the circle closest to the core, when was your true self surrounded by this layer of sediment? What parts of you are false or not you at all? From the inside out to the next circle, all the way to you in the eyes of others. You will find that you have built some weak walls and you need to tear them down. Once you can begin to dig down to your core to discover your true inner self, you will find peace of mind.