Unit4
The following text is extracted from Marriages and Families by Nijole V. Benokraitis.
下面的文章选自Nijole V. Benokraitis的婚姻与家庭。
The book has been used as a textbook for sociology courses and women’s studies in a number of universities in the United States.
此书在美国的一些大学里被用作社会学和妇女研究等课程的教材，
It highlights important contemporary changes in society and the family and explores the choices that are available to family members, as well as the constraints that many of us do not recognize.
它强调了在当代社会和家庭中所发生的重要变化， 探索了家庭成员所面临的选择， 以及我们很多人都还未意识到的种种约束。
It examines the diversity of American families today, using cross-cultural and multicultural comparisons to encourage creative thinking about the many critical issues that confront the family of the twenty-first century.
该书还审视了当今美国家庭的多样性，运用跨文化和多元文化的比较，以激发创造性思维来研究21世纪家庭所面临的许多严峻问题。
LOVE AND LOVING RELATIONSHIPS Nijole V. Benokraitis
爱和情感连系 奈杰尔 •贝诺克瑞提斯
1 Love- as both an emotion and a behavior- is essential for human survival- The family is usually our earliest and most important source of love and emotional support.
1 爱，对于人类的生存是不可或缺的。它既是一种情感，又是一种行为。家庭通常是我们最 早和最重要的爱和情感支持的来源。
Babies and children deprived of love have been known to develop a wide variety of problems- for example, depression, headaches, physiological impairments, and neurotic and psychosomatic difficulties- that sometimes last a lifetime.
众所周知， 缺乏爱的婴幼儿会产生各种各样的问题， 如 抑郁症、头痛、生理残疾、神经质或身心疾病，这些病有时会伴随他们一生。
In contrast, infants who are loved and cuddled typically gain more weight, cry less, and smile more.
而对比之下， 拥有爱和拥抱的婴儿通常体重增加得快， 哭得少， 而笑得多。
By five years of age, they have been found to have significantly higher IQs and to score higher on language tests.
到了五岁时， 他们的智商和语 言测试的分数明显比前一类儿童高得多。
2 Much research shows that the quality of care infants receive affects how they later get along with friends, how well they do in school, how they react to new and possibly stressful situations, and how they form and maintain loving relationships as adults.
2 很多研究发现婴儿获得关爱的质量会影响到他们以后的交友，在学校的表现，如何应对陌 生的或可能充满压力的情况， 以及他们成年后如何建立并且维系情感连系。
It is for these reasons that people’s early intimate relationships within their family of origin1 are so critical.
正是因为这些原 因，人们与家庭成员的早期亲密关系才如此至关重要。
Children who are raised in impersonal environments (orphanage, some foster homes, or unloving families) show emotional and social underdevelopment, language and motor skills retardation, and mental health problems.
在人情冷漠的环境中 (如孤儿院，某 些寄养家庭，或缺乏关爱的家庭 )长大的孩子会出现情感和社会性发育不良，语言和运动技 能迟缓，以及精神健康问题。 3 Love for oneself, or self-love, is also essential for our social and emotional development.
3 对自己的爱，或者说自爱，对我们的社会性和情感发展也是至关重要的。
Actress Mae West once said, “I never loved another person the way I loved myself.” Although such a statement may seem self-centered, it’s actually quite insightful Social scientists describe self-love as an important oasis for self- esteem.
女演员梅 •韦斯 特曾说过， ―我从没有像爱自己那样爱过别人。 ‖虽然这样的话听起来似乎有些以自我为中心， 实际上却是相当有见地。社会学家将自爱描述为自尊的一个重要基础。
Among other things, people who like themselves are more open to criticism and less demanding of others. Fromm (1956) saw self-love as a necessary prerequisite for loving others.
从别的方面来说， 自 我喜欢的人更乐于接受批评，对别人的要求也不那么苛刻。弗罗姆 (1956) 认为自爱是爱别人 的先决条件。
People who don’t like themselves may not be able to return love but may constancy seek love relationships to bolster their own poor self-images.
不喜欢自己的人也许不懂得回报爱， 而却有可能不停地寻找爱的关系来改变卑 微的自我形象。
But just what is love? What brings people together?
那么到底什么是爱 ?是什么让人们走到一起 ?
4 Love is an elusive concept. We have all experienced love and feel we know what it is; however, when asked what love is, people give a variety of answers.
4 爱是一个难以描述的概念。我们都经历过爱，觉得我们知道爱是什么，然而当被问到什么 是爱时，人们给出的答案却不尽相同，
According to a nineyear-old boy, for example, “Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.”
比如一个九岁的男孩说， ―爱像雪崩，你必须快跑才 能活命。
What we mean by love depends on whether we are talking about love for family members, friends, or lovers. Love has been a source of inspiration, wry witticisms, and even political action for many centuries.
‖爱对我们来说意味着什么，这取决于我们所指的是家人之间、朋友之间还是恋人 之间的爱。几百年来爱都是灵感、俏皮的揶揄、甚至是政治活动的来源。
