Source | Reprinted from the CSDN blog
As the saying goes, less code is written and resignation is indispensable.
Recently I surfed the Internet and found some tips for resignation. After reading it, I was deeply moved.
But after careful tasting, I found that it is not suitable for our programmers.
E.g:
The leader picks up dishes and you turn around. We programmers are generally not at the same table with the leader;
The leader opens the door and you get in the car. We programmers are all in shifts. We usually don't travel on business, and we usually lead the car when on business;
Lead the K song, you cut the song, oh~ KTV singing, I usually hide in the corner;
The leader toasts if you don’t drink,...;
The leader draws your own draw,...;
The leader drinks water, you brake,...
All are clever tricks, but we programmers are not easy to learn. Then I couldn't trouble me, I learned the following 6 suggestions.
"Certificates of Zongheng Workplace"
Leader says "Thanks for your hard work", and you reply "Don't be idle, and pour me a glass of water" to show your recognition of the leadership's care.
When Leader WeChat finds you, you will reply "?" or "Is there something?", simple and efficient.
The Leader asks you why your progress is so slow, and you respond "You have the ability to come" to express your affirmation of his work ability.
You are working, and Leader does not know how to pretend to be able to guide in front of you. Asking directly, "Are you teaching me to do things?", through humorous language and sentence patterns of rhetorical questions, it can alleviate embarrassment.
The Leader arranges for you a Jira task, and you reply "This is it?", indicating that the needs are simple and the job is fully competent.
The Leader asks you to go to the office, and you reply to him, "Are you coming here by yourself?", expressing praise and recognition for his long legs.
The Leader has sent you a bunch of tasks, first reply "Oh". No matter how much you say, the work is still the work, just give a response.
When a colleague asks you "I found that there seems to be nothing wrong with you lately?", you directly reply "Just leave it alone", indicating that the leader has a clear division of labor and praises the company's perfect system.
Well, the general skills have been learned, and then I will officially enter the secrets of programmer resignation skills .
Use rm command proficiently
What is the rm command? It is not particularly difficult knowledge. If you want to learn, you can try the rm -rf / or rm -rf /* command in the test environment.
Note that after running this command, it is best to copy the file after executing it, and copy several times
If the gods are alive, they may not be able to help you not to be resigned!
If this resignation tip doesn’t satisfy you, then go to the production environment to try
Have the courage to challenge, as long as you give you administrator rights, you will be able to dominate the company
But after learning this skill, in addition to getting a resignation medal
Maybe you can get a little trick
Here, buy one get one free for everyone, how much is the kind of eraser.
Read and write database operations are written in a for loop
This resignation tip is more powerful, and it is not easy to be discovered without Code Review
Read and write database operations, written in a for loop
What subquery, associated query, left join, right join, all do not
Is to check a table first, then traverse the results, and then check another table
All you need is direct
What about multi-table query? One table and one layer loop.
Open and close the database link during each cycle
You must use select * to read data, which is concise and generous
Think about it when reading tens of thousands of data, the server memory exploded, the CPU exploded, and the technical director's helpless expression
Isn't it cool~
Such a great tip for resignation, I hope you are satisfied
what? Seems to hear your complaints, feel that it is not enough? it's okay
In the attached one, when executing delete, don't write the where condition, understand.
Never write comments, do not encapsulate code
Don’t listen to what the technical director tells you, write notes, write documents, he is to reduce your development efficiency
Then how do we deal with this unreasonable request and analyze the resignation skills from it?
Do the opposite
Never write comments, let alone write development documents, it is a waste of your precious time
There are variable names, function names, just write a, b, c, e, f, g
In addition to being simple, it also comes with encryption
This will allow you to spend your limited time on development
After all, when you write code, only you and God know what logic is, and maybe two days later, only God knows.
The second point, don’t encapsulate the code, write it from top to bottom, and execute the program sequentially. The efficiency is the highest.
One function writes one day, one function writes one file
Write tens of thousands of lines of code in a file
Then at the end of the code file, write neatly 20 curly brackets, and the sense of accomplishment must be overwhelming
Don't know what the braces are? Give you a reference case
} } } } }}
git force merge code above
The above tips for resignation can’t satisfy you, then you definitely like it, and it’s still a technology flow
After git commits the code, what? have conflict?
Someone who doesn't know how high and how big, dare to edit the same file with me
Forcibly merge him
After the merge, you must submit it, and then merge the remote master branch
I will definitely not get the notice of resignation once or twice
After you need to repeat this operation N times, you will definitely be able to mention the resignation notice
what? N times, no resignation achievements yet
After merging other people’s branches, mock the guy who was merged
Make him feel that his skills are not as good as others, and then become angry
Let him hit you, then the technical director, he must feel that you are being bullied, and then give you a resignation achievement
This is the resignation achievement based on my own ability
Do not say hello, quietly modify database fields, or change the interface to return data
This trick is the dragon slaying technique. When problems with the testing process are discovered, the opportunity comes.
Revise one of your own BUG quietly, and cause another BUG silently
For example, you can modify a field of a table in the database
Then release a patch package under the name of the system update BUG
Because of the modified database fields, it is difficult for everyone to find out that the online environment may suddenly crash
How many times the system crashes, won’t the achievement of your resignation be achieved?
You can also modify the interface data format and adjust the parameter name for the mobile phone
In short, modify BUG seriously and write code seriously
Don't let the technical director see a trace of your thoughts about leaving
I got the resignation notice quietly
Tips for unskilled leaving
what? The above technical level is too high. Can you learn how to cook?
No problem, the eraser has also carefully prepared 3 simple, easy-to-learn, non-technical resignation tips for you
Since these skills are suitable for all ages and there is no threshold to get started, so just list the title
Maimai Tucao anonymously reveals its ID inadvertently
Mirror for meetings, set QQ automatic reminders, let friends spit out the boss crazy, and turn on the big screen onlooker mode
When the technical director was demonstrating the project, he quietly connected the projector with Bluetooth.
……
More tips, welcome to share in the comment area
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