I am a programmer who has been in the IT world for 8 years. Living in this world, it is inevitable that I will encounter misunderstandings of one kind or another, including my identity, identity, identity, and shit. . . . . .
In fact, many "people" are not very clear about the definition of a programmer, and asked me weakly, what is a programmer? ?
At this time, I always use the proficient Mandarin to say that a programmer is a very special but common animal (should be a mammal) that can be engaged in program development and maintenance.
In the eyes of different people, programmers have different functions and characteristics, which are summarized as follows:
Category 1: Computer Repairman
1. In the eyes of the girl: Brother programmer, can you help me repair the computer?
Standard solution: plug it in...
2. Boss: Xiao Cheng, Uncle's computer is stuck, let's take a look
Standard solution: reboot...
3. Mom: Son, I can't access the Internet
Standard workaround: Turn on the power to the routed outlet...
4. Grandpa: Hey, grandson, why is there no picture on the TV
Standard solution: Grandpa, can you turn off the mute...
Category 2: Hackers
1. In the eyes of the girl: Brother programmer, can you help me hack into the school's computer and change my grades?
Standard Solution: "Roll"
2. Boss: Xiao Cheng, my stocks have lost a lot of money recently. Come and help me hack them and get the money back
Standard solution: I "roll"
3. Mom: Son, Tmall cosmetics is not cheap, can you change the price for mom?
Standard solution: Mom, I bought
4. Gangster: Hey, with you and me, I have the world
Standard solution: open window and do free fall
Category 3: About Office
1. In the eyes of friends: Sitting comfortably in the office, with no wind, no rain, no sun, and tapping the keyboard easily
Standard solution: Record a 24-hour work video and send it to him. . .
2. Me in my mother's eyes: like a sender, dripping
Standard solution: take pictures, imitate thinking
3. Me in society: I have a suit and leather shoes, and I only have a laptop in my eyes
Standard solution: buy large panties with the same grips, and pull-up panels, which the patient wears
4. Me in the eyes of the boss: Eight pack abs, strong as a cow
Standard solution: Adjust the annual physical examination to once every 2 months, and output a statistical report
5. Me in my eyes: Eight computers with 360 degrees without dead ends, and a circular desk
Standard solution: just figure it out yourself, that's a hacker. . .
In fact, my life, my work, is no different from an ugly website
Category 4: Freelancers
1. In the eyes of friends: lying on the sofa every day, getting drunk
Standard solution: You can't see it when we're at work
2. Mom thinks: I repair computers
Standard solution: tell mom directly, I can't fix it, don't pick me up from the neighbors
3. In society: head hanging beams, cone thorns, life-threatening work
Standard solution: none, for life, no way
4. Client thinks: I am COPY and Paste, the porter of characters
Standard solution: fuck the client, we do the client
5. Me in my eyes: I keep picking up projects at home to do
Standard solution: It's a nice treat to stay in the ideal state forever
6. In fact: holding small signs, posting advertisements, looking for customers
Standard solution: code farmer. . . programmer. . .
Category 5: Female programmers
1. In the eyes of friends: I am a Digimon
Standard solution: Friends are right
2. Mom thinks: I repair computers
Standard solution: The programmer's mom is a person, the same person. . .
3. In society: I’m almost bald, and I have to type codes
The standard solution: we si female silver! ! 8 si monsters! !
4. Hollywood Thinks: I'm a Sparkling Crystal
Standard Solution: Understandable
5. Me in my eyes: quiet and elegant typing
The standard solution: another cappuccino~
6. Actually: messing around with a bunch of male diaosi and typing code
Standard solution: There is no solution to this problem, do you remember the above eight sets of big pants and pull board? . .
The blogger is just talking for the female Cheng, the blogger is the male silver~. ~
Summary: The seven majors of programmers are recognized, in reverse order
7. High salary:
No matter what your education, or even no education, you can get an enviable salary after working. I believe this is the most direct purpose of many people who change careers to become programmers. Especially in the first few years, it is simply salary growth
6. Repair and reinstall the computer
I don't know when, programmers have been closely linked with this one. If it's okay to have a college background, for many halfway transfer students, I'm afraid they will be cuckolded.
5. Single: Single is an eternal topic among programmers, especially when a new person joins, most of them will know your details before meeting me.
4. Job-hopping:
Unlike many other occupations, as long as you are safe and secure, you can live without worries. For programmers, it is really normal to change jobs. If one day I hear that a person has been working in the first company for four or five years, there will be some respect in my heart. However, it still can't reduce the return that job-hopping brings to programmers, you know.
3. High IQ and low EQ
Many people are discussing why it is so difficult for programmers to get promoted, and some people even do not want to get promoted at all. In the world of programmers, it may be explained in one sentence: I like coding the most! Many programmers are addicted to the creative craze of writing code and exploring the optimization of data structures. At this time, if you disturb him, the consequences will be disastrous, let alone let him manage. If one day you find a programmer who can speak and is not obsessed with technology, congratulations, hurry up and polish it.
2. Act logically:
If you are like the average person, tell the programmer to show me an example and let me see the effect. As long as you don't have a detailed requirements document, just wait, they will give you a lot of suggestions, so that you can "cut constantly, It's still messed up." If you just ask them to make a demo for you out of thin air, you probably don't know how to use it.
1. Entrepreneurship:
For the time being, no matter how outsiders see it, in the eyes of my own family, I like to talk about it, especially those who change careers after they can't get along to a certain extent, they are often the object of teasing before and after dinner. In the eyes of others, there are too many factors to consider when starting a business, but programmers are no different, because they are born to start a business!