1
00:00:03,030 --> 00:00:04,420
Morty 来
Morty, you got to come on.
2
00:00:04,940 --> 00:00:05,800
跟我走一趟
You got to come with me.
3
00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:10,900
我给你个惊喜
I got a surprise for you, morty.
咋回事儿
What's going on?
校对: 史努比嘟
4
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:15,900
- 别拉得这么用劲儿啊 - 给你个惊喜 Morty
- Ow! You're tugging me too hard. - I got a surprise for you, Morty.
后期: Nico
嗷
Ow!
5
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:20,900
压制: 凯撒
6
00:00:21,010 --> 00:00:22,580
我拿车库里的东西造的
I built it out of stuff I found in the garage.
7
00:00:22,650 --> 00:00:23,530
挺好的 Rick
Yeah, Rick, it's
8
00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:24,210
挺棒的
It's great.
9
00:00:24,430 --> 00:00:25,330
惊喜就是这个吗
Is this the surprise?
10
00:00:25,450 --> 00:00:27,750
Morty 我必须必须必须
Morty, I had to I had to do I had to I had
11
00:00:28,340 --> 00:00:30,260
必须得搞个炸弹 Mory
To I had to make a bomb, Morty.
12
00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:31,180
我造了个炸弹
I had to create a bomb.
13
00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:32,180
啥 炸弹
What?! A bomb?!
14
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,740
炸弹投下去 创造新天地
We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty.
15
00:00:34,870 --> 00:00:35,850
新呀新天地
Create a whole fresh start.
16
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,290
这太疯了吧
T-t-that's absolutely crazy!
17
00:00:37,340 --> 00:00:37,990
来嘛Morty
Come on, Morty.
18
00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:38,890
淡定点Morty
Just take it easy, Morty.
19
00:00:38,940 --> 00:00:39,530
会很赞的
It's gonna be good.
20
00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:41,940
现在咱去接你的小伙伴Jessica
Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend jessica.
21
00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:42,920
Jessica
Jessica?
22
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,090
我数学课上那个
From my math class?
23
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:47,150
我扔炸弹下去的时候 我不想
When I drop the bomb, I don't, you know, I want you to
24
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,300
我想让你有人陪着
Have somebody, you know
25
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,510
我希望你能那啥
I want you to have the thing
26
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,050
就和新世界的亚当与夏娃一样 你就是亚当
I'm gonna make it like a new adam and eve, and you're gonna be adam.
27
00:00:53,070 --> 00:00:55,700
Jessica就是夏娃 惊喜吧 Morty
And jessica's gonna be eve, and so that's the surprise, Morty.
28
00:00:55,770 --> 00:00:56,670
不行
No, you can't!
29
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,430
Jessica根本不认识我
J-jessica doesn't even know I exist.
30
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,140
先别管这个 你不能毁灭人类
But but but forget about that, because you can't blow up humanity.
31
00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:02,870
我知道你想说啥 Morty
I-I get what you're trying to say, M-Morty.
32
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,060
听着 我不 你不 你不用担心
Listen, I'm not you don't y-y-you don't got to worry about me
33
00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:09,190
我不会调戏Jessica 或者玩弄Jessica 之类的
trying to fool around with with jessica or mess around with jessica or anything.
34
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,500
我不是那种人 Morty
I'm I'm not that kind of guy, Morty.
35
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:11,600
Rick 你在说什么
What are you talking about, Rick?
36
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:12,430
你你你不用
You you you don't
37
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:13,380
担心我会
Have to worry about me getting
38
00:01:13,450 --> 00:01:14,360
和Jessica搞上什么的
With jessica or anything.
39
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:16,890
她她她是你一个人的 Morty
She she she she she's all for you, Morty.
40
00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:18,130
Jessica不是重点
I don't care about Jessica!
41
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,320
Morty 没错 你说得对
You know what, Morty? You're right.
42
00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:21,560
别管这妹子了
Let's forget the girl all together.
43
00:01:21,810 --> 00:01:23,410
留下也是祸患
She she's probably nothing but trouble, anyways.
44
00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:24,710
中微子炸弹装载中
Arming neutrino bomb.
45
00:01:25,010 --> 00:01:26,010
够了
That's it that's it, Rick.
46
00:01:26,230 --> 00:01:27,330
方向盘给我
I'm taking the wheel.
47
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,060
闪开 Morty
Get off of me, Morty!
48
00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:29,840
我不能让你这样
I'm taking charge of this situation, buddy.
49
00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:30,850
你发啥疯
What's gotten into you?
50
00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:34,400
我才不会在边上跟个傻
I'm I'm I'm i'm not gonna stand around like some sort of dumb...
51
00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:35,670
你搞啥 疯了吗
What are you, crazy?
52
00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:37,720
傻瓜一样让你把地球灭了
... person and just let you blow up the whole world.
53
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:38,630
好吧好吧
All right, all right.
54
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:39,730
我降落就是了
I'll I'll land.
55
00:01:39,770 --> 00:01:40,210
我降落就是了
I'll land. I'll land.
56
00:01:40,270 --> 00:01:41,160
这就降落好吧
I'll land the thing.
57
00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:41,980
这就降落
I'll land the thing.
58
00:01:42,390 --> 00:01:43,610
突然这么男人了
Big tough guy all of a sudden.
59
00:01:47,450 --> 00:01:48,520
咱就停这儿吧
We'll park it right here, Morty.
60
00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:50,220
就这路边上吧
Right here on the s-side of the r-road here.
61
00:01:50,330 --> 00:01:51,130
谢天谢地
Oh, thank god.
62
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,790
Morty 其实这是个考验
You know what? That was all a test, Morty.
63
00:01:54,290 --> 00:01:56,530
精心策划
Just an elaborate test to make
64
00:01:56,610 --> 00:01:57,220
让你更加坚定
You more assertive.
65
00:01:57,290 --> 00:01:58,000
真的
It was?
66
00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:58,680
当然了 不然咧
Sure. Why not?
67
00:01:58,740 --> 00:01:59,510
我咋知道
I don't I don't know.
68
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:00,780
知道吗 Mo
You you know what, Mo
69
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,480
中微子炸弹装载完毕
Neutrino bomb armed.
70
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:04,650
呃
Um...
71
00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:39,750
瑞克与莫蒂
电波诚译
第一季 第一集
72
00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:43,730
今晚要播新一期歌唱节目啦
I see there's a new episode of that singing show tonight.
73
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,270
你们觉得最佳歌手是谁
Who do you guys think is gonna be the best singer?
74
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:47,320
上帝啊
Oh, my god.
75
00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:48,040
头都砸进饭里了
His head is in his food.
76
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:48,850
我想吐
I'm going to puke.
77
00:02:48,940 --> 00:02:50,470
Morty 你病了吗
Morty, are you getting sick?
78
00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:52,740
跟你说了别拿客厅里的枕头练亲亲
I told you not to practice-kiss the living-room pillow.
79
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:53,770
狗狗在上面睡觉的
The dog sleeps on it.
80
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,800
我没亲枕头 妈
I wasn't kissing a pillow, mom.
81
00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:58,200
我就是昨晚没睡好
I just I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
82
00:02:58,370 --> 00:03:00,150
可能我的梦太吵了什么的
Maybe my dreams were just too loud or something.
83
00:03:00,270 --> 00:03:02,630
其实是你整晚都和Rick外公在外面吧
Or maybe you were out all night again with grandpa Rick.
84
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:03,160
啥
What?!
85
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:03,930
爸
Dad?
86
00:03:04,020 --> 00:03:06,160
咋 每天晚上都非要睡觉吗
What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now?
87
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,910
你晓得夜晚占了我们时间的一半吧
You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?
88
00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:09,530
去你的
Damn it!
89
00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:11,690
上帝啊 我爹妈真吵
Oh, my god. My parents are so loud.
90
00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:13,890
Summer 世上没有上帝
Mm, there is no god, summer.
91
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,160
你现在忍痛接受
You got to rip that band-aid off now.
92
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,040
以后会感谢我的
You'll thank me later.
93
00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:19,890
无意冒犯 Rick 算了吧 管他有意无意
Okay, with all due respect, rick what am I talking about? What respect is due?
94
00:03:20,090 --> 00:03:23,480
你老拉着他去搞这些没完没了的科幻玩意儿
How is my son supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging
95
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,130
他上的课还怎么过
Him off for high-concept sci-fi rigamarole?
96
00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:28,860
Jerry 我不想多管闲事
Listen, Jerry, I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything.
97
00:03:28,890 --> 00:03:29,540
这是你家
It's your house.
98
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:30,100
你的地盘
It's your world.
99
00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:31,260
你是凯撒大帝
You're a real julius caesar.
100
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:33,850
但是我觉得学校这种东西
But I'll tell you some tell you how how I feel about school, jerry.
101
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,590
纯属浪费时间 一堆人乱跑乱撞
It's a waste of time. A bunch of people running around, bumping into each other.
102
00:03:37,690 --> 00:03:39,770
前面的人说"二加二"
G-guy up front says, "Two plus two."
103
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,320
后面的人说"四"
The people in the back say, "Four."
104
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,780
下课铃一响 他们给你一盒牛奶
Then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a
105
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,080
一张纸 上面写着
Piece of paper that says you can
106
00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:46,400
你可以去上个大号
Go take a dump or something.
107
00:03:46,650 --> 00:03:48,610
学校不适合聪明人待
I mean, it's it's not a place for smart people, Jerry.
108
00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:52,380
我知道不是什么主流观点 但我就这么想的
And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue.
109
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,090
早餐很棒 Beth
This was a good breakfast, Beth.
110
00:03:55,430 --> 00:03:57,260
你真是煎得一手好蛋
You really made the crap out of those eggs.
111
00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:59,420
要是你妈妈也能吃到就好了
I wish your mother was here to eat them.
112
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,820
噢 爸爸
Oh, dad.
113
00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:01,340
啥
What?
114
00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:02,330
没搞错吧
For real?
115
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:05,400
都坐好
All right, now, everybody get settled.
116
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:07,220
离窗户远点
Get away from the windows!
117
00:04:07,530 --> 00:04:10,580
今天我们要来点真家伙
Now, look, we're gonna be dealing with some real serious stuff today.
118
00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:11,470
你们可能听说过
You might have heard of it.
119
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:12,360
叫做数学
It's called math.
120
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,030
没了数学 我们都不会存在 现在开始吧
And without it, none of us would even exist, so let's jump right in.
121
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:16,820
二加二
two plus two.
122
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,140
Jessica
Jessica.
123
00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:19,390
五加五
Five plus five.
124
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:20,490
十ssica
Tenssica.
125
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:21,420
很好
Okay, good.
126
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,930
现在小测验
It's time for the quiz.
127
00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:25,360
叫鬼啊
Yeah, you know what?! Aw, too bad!
128
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:25,880
乖乖写
Tough!
129
00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:27,480
第一排拿一张
First row, take one.
130
00:04:27,660 --> 00:04:28,470
剩下的往后传
Pass it back for me.
131
00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:30,410
这里竞争是很激烈的
The stakes are high in this room.
132
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,220
每天都有生死攸关的事发生
There's crucial things happening here every day.
133
00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:34,350
有人越来越聪明
People getting smarter.
134
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,620
有人越来越蠢
Some of y'all getting dumber.
135
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:37,340
有的人根本看不到三点的太阳
Some of y'all ain't gonna see 3:00.
136
00:04:39,890 --> 00:04:40,910
嗨 Morty
Hi, Morty.
137
00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:42,500
哇哦
Whoa!
138
00:04:43,020 --> 00:04:43,850
嗨 Jessica
Hi, Jessica.
139
00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:45,260
想看看吗
Can I show these to you?
140
00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:45,900
哇
Wow.
141
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,330
棒极了耶
Th-they're both great.
142
00:04:47,810 --> 00:04:48,320
谢谢
Thank you.
143
00:04:48,490 --> 00:04:49,530
你知道我管它们叫啥吗
You know what I named these?
144
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:50,450
我的小Motry
My little morties.
145
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:53,630
好荣幸 但有点诡异
Uh, that's flattering... and a little weird.
146
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,730
知道我想让你干嘛吗
Do you know what I want you to do with them?
147
00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:56,680
重新取个名字
Rename them?
148
00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:58,090
好好捏
Squeeze them.
149
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,380
使劲揉
Manhandle them.
150
00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:00,490
大力不要停
Give them the business.
151
00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:04,180
好好让它们爽一爽
See if you can shuffle them. I mean, really get in there and knock them around.
152
00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:05,540
怎样都可以
No wrong answers.
153
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,690
好吧 Jessica
Well, okay, Jessica.
154
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,110
我试试吧
L-let's give this a shot.
155
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:10,230
嗯
Mm.
156
00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:11,560
Morty
Oh, Morty.
157
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:13,510
你在对我做什么
What are you doing to me?
158
00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:15,290
我在努力了
Uh, I-I'm just doing my best.
159
00:05:15,530 --> 00:05:16,120
Morty
Morty!
160
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,130
你在对我做什么
What are you doing to me?!
161
00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:17,890
Jessica
Jessica.
162
00:05:18,190 --> 00:05:19,170
Morty
Morty!
163
00:05:19,430 --> 00:05:21,250
Jessica
Jessica.
164
00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:22,600
再来五分钟
Five more minutes of this
165
00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:23,790
我就要生气了
And I'm gonna get mad.
166
00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:25,430
Jessica
Je-jessica.
167
00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:26,230
Jessica
Jessica.
168
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:28,200
这可不是我的错
Not my fault this is happening.
169
00:05:31,070 --> 00:05:32,140
看呐
Well, well, well.
170
00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:33,590
Frank 早上好
Uh, morning, Frank.
171
00:05:33,650 --> 00:05:34,990
"早上好" 你什么意思
"Morning"? What was what is that supposed to mean?
172
00:05:35,470 --> 00:05:36,080
你在取笑我吗
You making fun of me?
173
00:05:36,390 --> 00:05:38,000
你这是在暗示我家里穷吗
Are you trying to say my family's poor?
174
00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:40,360
Frank 没必要动刀子吧
Oh, geez, frank. I don't know if a knife is necessary.
175
00:05:40,650 --> 00:05:43,150
不用刀子也能搞定啊
I mean, you know, y-you kind of had things handled without it.
176
00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:44,990
轮得到你来教我吗
You telling me how to bully now?
177
00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:46,420
这你就错了 Morty
Big mistake, Morty.
178
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,760
现在我要砍了你 因为我家有钱
And now I'm gonna cut you, 'cause my family's rich.
179
00:05:53,150 --> 00:05:53,860
你在这儿啊 Morty
There you are, Morty.
180
00:05:54,030 --> 00:05:54,650
听我说
Listen to me.
181
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,990
我要去另外一个次元办点事儿
I got an errand to run in a whole different dimension.
182
00:05:57,220 --> 00:05:58,290
我需要帮手
I need an extra pair of hands.
183
00:05:58,390 --> 00:06:00,850
天啊 Rick 你把Frank咋了
Oh, geez, Rick. W-what'd you do to frank?
184
00:06:00,890 --> 00:06:02,440
很明显啊Morty 我把他冻住了
It's pretty obvious, Morty. I froze him.
185
00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:04,570
我需要你帮忙
Now listen. I need your help, morty.
186
00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:06,920
我们赶紧离离离开这儿
I mean, we got we got to get get the hell out of here
187
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,220
去办事儿
And go take care of business.
188
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,030
很重要 快来 Morty
It's important. Come on, morty.
189
00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:12,040
我不知道 Rick
I don't know, rick.
190
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,400
我不能再逃学了
I-I can't leave school again.
191
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,020
你知道去那边有多危险吗
Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there, Morty?
192
00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:17,820
你觉得我一个人能行吗
What do you think? I can just do it all by myself?
193
00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:18,640
快来
Come on!
194
00:06:18,690 --> 00:06:19,790
好吧
Aw, geez. Okay.
195
00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:21,290
我或许可以翘一节历史
I guess I can skip history.
196
00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:22,580
Frank咋办
What about Frank?
197
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,110
你是不是该给他解冻
I mean, shouldn't you unfreeze him?
198
00:06:24,190 --> 00:06:25,130
等会儿再说
I'll do it later, Morty.
199
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:25,940
他没事的
He'll be fine.
200
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:26,830
我们走
Let's go.
201
00:06:30,110 --> 00:06:33,360
天 我要遇上Frank Palicky了
Oh, my god. I'm about to walk past frank Palicky.
202
00:06:33,790 --> 00:06:35,460
这就是以后讲给我们孩子听的邂逅啊
This is the story we'll be telling our children.
203
00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:37,940
嗨Frank
Hi, Frank.
204
00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:42,400
啊
Aah!
205
00:06:44,930 --> 00:06:45,490
手术刀
Scalpel.
206
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:46,150
给
Scalpel.
207
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,170
咚咚咚
Knock, knock.
208
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,070
Jerry
Jerry?
209
00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:51,750
经理给了一小时的午餐时间
My manager gave me an hour for lunch, and I thought
210
00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:54,520
我就想"干嘛不来我老婆上班的地方看看呢"
"Hey, why not swing by where your wife works?"
211
00:06:54,890 --> 00:06:55,620
它快不行了
We're losing him.
212
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,020
好了 稳住了
Okay, he's back.
213
00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:59,490
Jerry 请务必告诉我你有非来不可的理由
Jerry, please tell me you're here for an incredibly urgent reason.
214
00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:00,990
午餐啊
Well, it's lunch.
215
00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:03,950
数千年来的三餐之一啊
I mean, it's one of three meals that have existed for millennia.
216
00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:04,740
不行了
Losing him.
217
00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:06,070
稳定了
Stabilized.
218
00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:11,370
Jerry你知道我这么说 是因为我的工作是心外科手术吧
Okay, I only ask, Jerry, because, as you know, my job involves performing heart surgery.
219
00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:12,870
是啊是啊 给马做的
Well, yeah, on horses.
220
00:07:12,990 --> 00:07:13,740
你说啥
Excuse me?
221
00:07:13,790 --> 00:07:15,620
好吧 这个问题咱别再吵了
Okay. Let's not rehash that fight.
222
00:07:16,150 --> 00:07:18,360
我明白你很忙 我这就走
I sense that you're busy and will now be on my way.
223
00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:19,550
哇哦
Whoa!
224
00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:20,900
地上这是啥呀
What is this on the floor?
225
00:07:21,530 --> 00:07:24,760
这家养老院看着真是好啊
Some kind of literature for a really nice-looking nursing home.
226
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:27,950
亲爱的 突发奇想 咱把你爸送进去吧
Hey, honey, crazy idea bad pitch let's put your dad here.
227
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,530
把你爸送进养老院吧
Let's put your dad in a nursing home.
228
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:31,540
不行了
We're losing him.
229
00:07:31,670 --> 00:07:33,320
Tom 我知道它快不行了
Hey, Tom. We know when we're losing him.
230
00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:34,600
这哔哔叫我听得见
We can hear the beeps!
231
00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:38,270
好了 来吧 Morty 我们走
There she is. All right. Come on, Morty. Let's go.
232
00:07:38,610 --> 00:07:39,950
好吧
Oh, geez. Okay.
233
00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:42,980
天啊 Rick
Oh, man, Rick.
234
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:44,760
这是个啥地方
What is this place?
235
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:49,160
这是35c次元 这儿的气候非常适合一种特殊的树
It's dimension 35c, and it's got the perfect climate conditions for a special type of
236
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:51,640
叫做奇异树
Tree, morty, called a mega tree
237
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,950
树上有果子 果子里有种子
And there's fruit in those trees, and there's seeds in those fruits.
238
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:56,220
那就是奇异种
I'm talking about mega seeds.
239
00:07:56,380 --> 00:08:00,650
这种种子非常强大 我的研究需要这些种子
They're they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, Morty.
240
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,800
Rick 我看了下四周
Oh, man, Rick. I'm looking around this place
241
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,870
总觉得有点怕怕的呢
And I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing.
242
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:06,640
冷静点 听我说 Morty
Calm down. Listen to me, morty.
243
00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:08,970
我知道人在新环境里会感到不安
I know that new situations can be intimidating.
244
00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:11,760
你看周围 又吓人又陌生
You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but
245
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:15,140
迎头而上 像一头公牛一样冲过去
You know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull
246
00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:16,620
这样人才能成长
that's how we grow as people.
247
00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:18,580
我经常遇到可怕的事
I'm no stranger to scary situations.
248
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:19,860
我一直在和它们打交道
I deal with them all the time.
249
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,750
你跟着我
Now, if you just stick with me, Morty
250
00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:24,890
我们一定会 妈呀 快跑 Morty
we're gonna be... Holy crap, Morty, run!
251
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:26,970
我这辈子都没见过这玩意儿
I never seen that thing before in my life.
252
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:28,490
这到底是啥鬼东西啊
I don't even know what the hell it is!
253
00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:29,810
快跑啊Morty
We got to get out of here, morty!
254
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:30,520
它会杀了我们的
It's gonna kill us!
255
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:31,580
我们要挂了
We're gonna die!
256
00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:33,370
我们要挂了
We're gonna die, morty!
257
00:08:35,630 --> 00:08:36,910
Morty 深呼吸
Oh, Morty, take a deep breath.
258
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,200
呼吸点新鲜空气
Breathe that, breathe that fresh air in, morty.
259
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:39,990
闻到没
Y-you smell that?
260
00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:41,900
充满了冒险气息啊 Morty
That's the smell of adventure, Morty.
261
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:46,240
一条完全不同的进化之路的味道
That's that's the smell of of of of a whole different evolutionary timeline.
262
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:46,940
好了Rick
All right, Rick
263
00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:49,000
还要多久啊
Look how much longer is this gonna be?
264
00:08:49,140 --> 00:08:50,560
我是不是该回学校了
Shouldn't I be back at school by now?
265
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:51,550
开什么玩笑
Are you joking me?
266
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,180
看看你周围这些鬼玩意儿
I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us.
267
00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:55,340
看那边那个
Look at that thing right there.
268
00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:56,480
这是什么鬼
W-what the hell is that thing?
269
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,410
你觉得你在学校能看见
You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school?
270
00:08:58,460 --> 00:08:59,890
看它滚来滚去
Look at it just lumbering around.
271
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,670
无法用逻辑理解
It defies all logic that thing.
272
00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:03,550
Rick 我明白
Yeah, Rick, I get it.
273
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,610
我们周围全是怪物
We're surrounded by monsters.
274
00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,210
所以我才想走啊
That's kind of the reason why I want to leave.
275
00:09:07,270 --> 00:09:09,650
看见了吗 Morty
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Morty, you see this?
276
00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:13,280
看见下面是什么了吗
You see what we just stumbled upon, morty?
277
00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:14,680
知道是啥吗
Any idea what that is down there?
278
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:15,720
奇异树吗
The mega trees?
279
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:16,270
没错Morty
That's right, Morty
280
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,450
长着果子的奇异树
The mega trees with the mega fruit on them.
281
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,360
我要的就是这个呀 Morty 种子就在那儿
And that's what I'm talking about, morty. That's where my seeds are.
282
00:09:21,580 --> 00:09:23,850
如果我们按你说的来 那就永远找不到了
If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have
283
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:25,670
因为你如此迷恋你的学校
Found them, because y because you're so in love with school.
284
00:09:25,870 --> 00:09:27,030
好吧 好吧
All right, all right.
285
00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:29,310
这些种子到底有什么特别的
So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways?
286
00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:30,650
Morty 别问这么多问题
You ask a lot of questions, Morty.
287
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:31,980
这样不好
Not very charismatic.
288
00:09:32,410 --> 00:09:34,820
很碍事的
It makes you kind of an under underfoot figure.
289
00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:36,210
穿上这鞋子 Morty
Just take these shoes, Morty.
290
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:37,940
这是特制的吸附鞋
They're sp special grappling shoes.
291
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:40,420
只要穿着这宝贝儿
When you're wearing these things ba these babies
292
00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:43,180
你想往哪儿走往哪儿走
You can basically just walk on any surface you want, Morty
293
00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:45,200
往上 往下 倒立 转到左边
Up, down, below, turn around to the left.
294
00:09:45,530 --> 00:09:47,220
怎么都行
These things really bring it all together.
295
00:09:47,430 --> 00:09:48,310
啊
Aah!
296
00:09:49,030 --> 00:09:50,350
Morty 你得先启动它们
You have to turn them on, Morty!
297
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:52,080
先把鞋子的开关打开
The shoes have to be turned on!
298
00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:54,950
我绝不会送我爸去养老院
I am not putting my father in a home!
299
00:09:55,230 --> 00:09:57,010
他才刚回到我的生活中
He just came back into my life
300
00:09:57,060 --> 00:10:00,450
你就想这么把他塞床垫下面
And you want to grab him and stuff him under a mattress
301
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,130
跟上月的维多利亚的秘密产品目录为伍吗
like last month's victoria's secret?
302
00:10:02,170 --> 00:10:04,650
我说了我是在给你订情人节礼物嘛
I told you I was ordering you something for valentine's day.
303
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:09,500
而且你爸对我们的孩子有很不好的影响
More importantly, your father is a horrible influence on our son.
304
00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:10,720
你们没问题吧 Beth
Everything cool in here, Beth?
305
00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:11,380
没事的 Davin
It's fine, Davin.
306
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:12,030
那就好
Okay, cool.
307
00:10:12,770 --> 00:10:13,990
我们今天一起完成了一件伟大的事
You know, we did something great today.
308
00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:16,880
没什么比马儿的心脏更高贵自由了
There's nothing more noble and free than the heart of a horse.
309
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:19,720
既然我们在吵架
Since we're fighting
310
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,110
如果你跟那家伙有过什么
If you ever have an affair with that guy
311
00:10:21,150 --> 00:10:23,350
我就去酒店房间吞子弹
I will come to the hotel room and blow my brains out
312
00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:24,740
把脑浆全崩到你的裸体上
all over your naked bodies.
313
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,370
我理解你承受的压力
Look, I appreciate the stress you're under
314
00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:29,360
但是Morty早在我爸搬进来前
but morty was having trouble in school way
315
00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:30,630
学习就有问题了
Before my dad moved in
316
00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:34,590
我唯一能看到Rick带来的影响就是 这么久以来
and the only influence I can see rick having is that, for the first time in his life
317
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,390
Morty第一次有了朋友
Morty has a friend.
318
00:10:39,350 --> 00:10:40,450
或许你是对的
Well, maybe you're right.
319
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,460
或许是吧
Uh, yeah, maybe I am.
320
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:43,660
我是我爸的女儿
I'm my father's daughter.
321
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:44,510
我很聪明
I'm smart.
322
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,660
不然咋当上心外科医生的
Why do you think I'm a heart surgeon?
323
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:46,870
马心外科医生
Horse heart surgeon.
324
00:10:47,470 --> 00:10:47,920
Smith太太吗
Mrs. Smith?
325
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:49,650
我是阴道校长 别做联想
This is principal Vagina no relation.
326
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,740
请问你和Morty的父亲今天下午能
I wonder if you and morty's father might be able to have a
327
00:10:51,790 --> 00:10:52,780
过来谈谈吗
Chat with me this afternoon?
328
00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:58,630
Morty你把你的腿弄得真惨
Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now.
329
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:01,320
你得把开关打开 这鞋子才能用啊
You know, you got to turn the shoes on, morty, for them to work.
330
00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:02,850
看我的打开了
Yeah, look I turned mine on.
331
00:11:02,910 --> 00:11:04,170
我下来的多顺当
I had no problem getting down here.
332
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,680
简直是轻松愉快
It was a leisurely breeze.
333
00:11:06,130 --> 00:11:07,340
我快疼死了 Rick
I'm in a lot of pain, rick.
334
00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:08,680
嗯 我看得出来
Yeah, I can see that.
335
00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:12,670
不过你应该还能帮我把种子采来的吧
But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, morty?
336
00:11:12,830 --> 00:11:13,730
开什么玩笑
Are you kidding me?!
337
00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:14,690
够了 Rick
That's it, Rick!
338
00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:16,070
我忍不了了
That's the last straw!
339
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,380
简直不敢相信
I can't believe this
340
00:11:17,430 --> 00:11:19,240
我两条腿都断了
I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken
341
00:11:19,460 --> 00:11:21,520
你还要我去帮你弄种子
and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?!
342
00:11:21,950 --> 00:11:23,140
嗷嗷嗷
Ooh! Ow! Oh!
343
00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:24,540
你是个怪物
Y-y-you're a monster.
344
00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:28,180
跟希特勒似的 至少希特勒心里还装着德国
Y-you're like hitler, but but even hitler cared about Germany or something.
345
00:11:28,510 --> 00:11:30,270
好吧 等我一下 Morty
Okay, hold on just a second, morty.
346
00:11:52,490 --> 00:11:56,050
哇哦Rick 这个一下就治好了我的腿
Wow, Rick. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly.
347
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,740
这辈子没觉得这么好过
I mean, I've never felt so good in my life.
348
00:11:59,550 --> 00:12:00,360
谢谢
Thank you.
349
00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:01,670
别管了 Morty
Don't worry about it, Morty.
350
00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:03,720
快过来帮我弄种子
Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy?
351
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:04,760
没问题 Rick
Sure thing, Rick.
352
00:12:04,970 --> 00:12:05,530
虽然你没问
Not that you asked
353
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:08,320
不过刚才我去了一个未来的次元
Morty, but what just happened there is I went into a future
354
00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:09,870
医学高度发达
Dimension with such advanced medicine
355
00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:12,980
治断腿的血清到处的药店都有卖的
that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore.
356
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,490
这种东西满街都是
The stuff was all over the place, morty.
357
00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:16,150
听上去好厉害啊 Rick
Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick.
358
00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:18,310
就是有个小问题
There's just one problem, Morty, one little hang-up.
359
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,360
我去的次元太发达了
The dimension I visited was so advanced
360
00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:22,610
他们抑制了衰老
they had also halted the aging process
361
00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:24,920
那儿的每个人都很年轻 也从未老过
and everyone there was young, morty, and they had been forever.
362
00:12:25,270 --> 00:12:26,960
我是那儿唯一的老人
I was the only old person there, morty.
363
00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:30,050
在那儿 我就像一个名人般
It was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around.
364
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:31,420
他们觉得我可迷人了
I-I was fascinating to them.
365
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:33,920
那边有很多美女
There were a lot of attractive Women there, morty
366
00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:35,580
她们都想和我共度良宵
and they they they they all wanted time with me.
367
00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:37,620
我和很多美女玩得非常开心
I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies
368
00:12:38,820 --> 00:12:40,790
但我在那边待太久了 次元传送装置它
but I spent so much time there, my interdimensional portal device
369
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,320
没有能量了
it's got no charge left, Morty.
370
00:12:42,690 --> 00:12:43,640
没有能量了
It's got no charge left.
371
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,320
它现在就是一废物
It's as good as garbage, morty.
372
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:46,610
已经没用了
It's not gonna work anymore, morty.
373
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,970
Rick 这可不妙
Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good.
374
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,570
那我们怎么办
W-what are we gonna do?
375
00:12:49,930 --> 00:12:51,680
我现在得回学校了
I-I have to be back at school right now.
376
00:12:51,940 --> 00:12:52,960
我们要怎么回家
How are we gonna get back home?
377
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:54,600
有很多办法可以回家
There's ways to get back home, Morty.
378
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,460
只是麻烦点而已
It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle.
379
00:12:56,790 --> 00:12:58,470
我们得去过空间海关
We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs
380
00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:01,330
所以我还得要你帮个忙
so you're gonna have to do me a real solid.
381
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:01,930
啊哦
Uh-oh.
382
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:03,120
我们到海关的时候
When we get to customs
383
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:04,420
你得把这些种子
I'm gonna need you to take these seeds
384
00:13:04,470 --> 00:13:05,270
带去洗手间
into the bathroom
385
00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:08,160
深深的塞进你的屁股里
and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty.
386
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:08,820
塞进屁股里
In my butt?
387
00:13:08,890 --> 00:13:11,010
往里塞 越深越好
Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit.
388
00:13:11,050 --> 00:13:11,800
天啊 Rick
Oh, geez, Rick.
389
00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:13,620
我真不想这样
I really don't want to have to do that.
390
00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:15,020
总得有人要做的啊 Morty
Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty.
391
00:13:15,780 --> 00:13:17,300
不塞进直肠里 这些种子
Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs
392
00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:18,750
过不了海关的
unless they're in someone's rectum, morty.
393
00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:21,020
如果我来的话会直接掉出来
And they'll fall right out of mine.
394
00:13:21,190 --> 00:13:22,700
我塞过太多次了
I've done this too many times, morty.
395
00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:23,750
你还年轻
I mean, you're young.
396
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:28,070
你还有大好人生 肛门也还紧致有弹性
You've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable.
397
00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:29,590
帮帮外公吧 Morty
You got to do it for Grandpa, morty.
398
00:13:29,710 --> 00:13:31,670
把这种子塞屁股里吧
Y-you've got to put these seeds inside your butt.
399
00:13:31,740 --> 00:13:32,520
塞屁股里
In my butt?
400
00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:33,890
求你了 Morty
Come on, morty. Please, morty.
401
00:13:33,930 --> 00:13:34,840
你一定要帮我 Morty
You have to do it, Morty.
402
00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:36,180
天啊
Oh, man.
403
00:13:37,690 --> 00:13:38,870
事情是这样的 你们的儿子Morty
The fact is, your son, morty
404
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,750
过去的两个月里一共只上了七个小时的学
Has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months.
405
00:13:43,370 --> 00:13:44,450
你之前为什么没有通知我们
Why didn't you notify us?
406
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:46,530
我早通知过你们
I done been notifying you.
407
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:47,590
你们没收到
Have you not been getting the messages
408
00:13:47,650 --> 00:13:49,070
我留给Morty外公的消息吗
I've been leaving with morty's grandfather?
409
00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:49,990
哈
Boom!
410
00:13:50,110 --> 00:13:51,740
我就说吧
Told you! In your face!
411
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,610
我们的孩子快让他毁了
He is ruining our child!
412
00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:55,070
等等 我这么高兴干嘛
Wait, what am I celebrating?
413
00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:56,920
我就觉得有点可疑
Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there
414
00:13:56,950 --> 00:13:59,170
因为总是Morty的外公把他从学校接走
Because it's usually morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school.
415
00:13:59,320 --> 00:13:59,770
Summer
Summer?
416
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:02,330
上帝怎么会让这种事发生
What kind of god lets this happen?
417
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:04,330
这儿出了点小意外
We had a little incident.
418
00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:06,350
有个学生被冻死了
A student was frozen to death.
419
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:09,640
没有任何证据表明是拉丁裔的学生干的
And there's no evidence that a latino student did it!
420
00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:11,770
总有人想扯到民族问题上去
Everyone wants to take this to a racial place.
421
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:12,400
我不会让他们得逞的
I won't let them.
422
00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:19,950
我跟他说"把blimfarx给我"
So, I told him, "Give me the blimfarx," You know?
423
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:22,600
这人根本不懂星际货币
This this guy he doesn't understand interstellar currency.
424
00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:24,810
我想吃点胡言乱语
It's, like, I'm trying to eat a flimflam like
425
00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:26,580
因为咱Girvonesk星就吃这
that's what we eat on Girvonesk.
426
00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:30,670
我不喜欢这儿 Morty
I don't like it here, Morty.
427
00:14:30,990 --> 00:14:32,060
我忍不了这种官僚主义
I can't abide bureaucracy.
428
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,070
我不喜欢让人指手画脚
I don't like being told where to go and what to do.
429
00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:35,400
我觉得这是对我的冒犯
I consider it a violation.
430
00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:36,940
你把种子塞屁股里了吗
Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?
431
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:37,740
是的Rick
Yeah, rick.
432
00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:39,370
咱能快点吗
Let's just get this over with, okay?
433
00:14:39,590 --> 00:14:40,690
这些东西尖尖的
I mean, these things are pointy.
434
00:14:41,390 --> 00:14:42,420
这说明品质好
That means they're good ones.
435
00:14:42,610 --> 00:14:43,830
你是个好孩子Morty
You're a good kid, Morty.
436
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,120
这些种子对我的研究非常重要
Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work.
437
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:47,810
你帮了我一个大忙
You've been a huge help to me.
438
00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:50,530
有了这些我什么都能干了
I'm gonna be able to do all kind of things with them.
439
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:51,960
这真是太好了Morty
It's gonna be great, Morty.
440
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:53,420
什么样的科学都行
All kinds of science.
441
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:54,680
下一个
Okay, next through.
442
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,620
除了你 你去那边
Except you. You go over there.
443
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:57,680
为什么他就得去那边
Why does he have to go over there?
444
00:14:57,750 --> 00:14:58,400
抽查
Random check.
445
00:14:58,790 --> 00:14:59,800
他要过那边的新机器
He's got to go through the new machine.
446
00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:01,020
什么新机器
What new what new machine?
447
00:15:01,310 --> 00:15:02,070
就一新机器
It's a new machine.
448
00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:03,560
能检查你的屁股深处
It detects stuff all the way up your butt.
449
00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:05,520
跑啊 Morty 快跑
Run, Morty! Run!
450
00:15:05,630 --> 00:15:06,100
啊
Aah!
451
00:15:06,430 --> 00:15:07,230
拉警报
Red alert!
452
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:34,090
别管它
Don't think about it!
453
00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:41,820
聪明啊 Morty
Oh, nice, Morty!
454
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:43,380
青出于蓝胜于蓝
The student becomes the teacher.
455
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,540
当然不了
Aw, hell, no, dawg.
456
00:15:57,630 --> 00:15:59,450
我只是想 啊啊啊
You know me I'm just trying to... Aah!
457
00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:05,750
我得输入我们自己世界的坐标
I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, morty.
458
00:16:05,910 --> 00:16:06,430
掩护我
Cover me.
459
00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:09,310
天啊 我不想开枪打人
Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody.
460
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:12,450
他们是机器人Morty 随便打 他们是机器人
They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots!
461
00:16:15,310 --> 00:16:16,290
我的腿被打断了
My leg is shot off!
462
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:17,730
Glenn要失血而死了
Glenn's bleeding to death!
463
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,750
谁通知下他老婆孩子
Someone call his wife and children!
464
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:21,160
他们不是机器人啊Rick
They're not robots, Rick!
465
00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:22,480
这是修辞 Morty
It's a figure of speech, Morty.
466
00:16:22,530 --> 00:16:24,330
他们都是官僚体系的走狗 没关系的
They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them.
467
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,590
接着打 Morty
Just keep shooting, Morty.
468
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,530
你不明白这里的监狱有多可怕
You have no idea what prison is like here!
469
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:31,810
天啊
Holy crap!
470
00:16:31,870 --> 00:16:32,700
这太疯狂了
This is insane!
471
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:44,080
走 Morty
Come on, morty!
472
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:45,450
我们离开这儿
We got to get the hell out of here!
473
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:50,910
哇哦
Wow.
474
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,580
你刚刚是穿过传送门进了食堂吗
Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal?
475
00:16:53,940 --> 00:16:54,920
是啊
Uh, yeah.
476
00:16:55,010 --> 00:16:57,770
因为我的法拉利还在店里嘛
Well, you know, my my ferrari's in the shop.
477
00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:00,140
开玩笑的
Ju just kidding.
478
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:01,230
你是Morty 是吗
You're Morty, right?
479
00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:01,870
是的
Yeah.
480
00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:02,770
你可以晚点找他要电话
You can get his number later.
481
00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:04,390
Morty 我们走
Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here.
482
00:17:04,770 --> 00:17:05,970
你得去把种子从屁股里弄出来
You got to get those seeds out of your ass.
483
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:07,200
看呐 亲爱的
Oh, look, Honey.
484
00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:09,560
这不是咱儿子和阿尔伯特 爱因撕蛋吗
It's our son with Albert Ein-douche.
485
00:17:09,670 --> 00:17:10,340
啥
What?
486
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,000
我是愤怒的父亲 又不是即兴演说家
I'm an angry father, not an improvisor.
487
00:17:12,230 --> 00:17:13,470
噢嗨 Jerry
Oh, hi, Jerry.
488
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,300
天啦 Morty
Oh, my goodness, Morty!
489
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:16,890
你怎么没在上课
What are you doing out of class?
490
00:17:17,060 --> 00:17:18,930
我不是和你说过了吗 你爸妈和我
We talked about this. Your your parents and I
491
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,370
对这种行为都感到很失望
are very disappointed in in this behavior.
492
00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:24,560
没人信吗
No? No takers?
493
00:17:25,090 --> 00:17:26,580
别碰这些东西
You guys should really not be touching that stuff.
494
00:17:26,690 --> 00:17:27,640
这些超出你们的理解范围的
It's beyond your reasoning.
495
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,040
你才超出我们的理解
You're beyond our reasoning!
496
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:29,950
彼此彼此
Takes one to know one.
497
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:34,310
爸 你怎么能让我们的儿子缺了整整一学期的课呢
Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school?
498
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,230
他又不是漂亮妹子
I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl.
499
00:17:36,270 --> 00:17:39,140
挥霍完青春再找一长期饭票
He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's.
500
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:40,690
你们搬我东西干嘛
What what are you guys doing with my stuff?
501
00:17:40,730 --> 00:17:43,320
我们要把你送进养老院
We're moving you... to a nursing home.
502
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:44,200
养老院
A nursing home?
503
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:45,360
你疯了吧
What are what are you, nuts?
504
00:17:45,490 --> 00:17:46,330
我是个天才
I'm a genius.
505
00:17:46,510 --> 00:17:47,850
我造机器人玩的
I build robots for fun.
506
00:17:47,890 --> 00:17:49,080
那你可以去做篮子
Well, now you can build baskets
507
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:51,380
用录影机看保罗纽曼的电影
and watch Paul Newman movies on vhs and
508
00:17:51,430 --> 00:17:53,640
在圣诞节的时候给童子军留下心灵创伤
mentally scar the boy scouts every christmas.
509
00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:54,290
这什么意思
What does that mean?
510
00:17:54,330 --> 00:17:54,920
私事
It's personal.
511
00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:56,820
爸妈 别这样
Dad, mom, c-come on.
512
00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:58,920
Rick只是要我帮忙而已
Rick just needed my help is all.
513
00:17:59,070 --> 00:18:00,360
Morty 别来搅和
Morty, stay out of this.
514
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:04,020
你自己显然没有足够的判断力
You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own.
515
00:18:04,130 --> 00:18:05,190
你这是说Morty什么呢
What are you trying to say about morty?
516
00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:06,510
说他笨吗
That he's stupid or something?
517
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,030
别抢占道德制高点了
Oh, don't high-road us, dad.
518
00:18:08,190 --> 00:18:12,180
你明知道Morty根本缺不起课的
You know fully well that morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes.
519
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,100
我不明白你想说什么
I-I-I don't know what you mean by that.
520
00:18:14,150 --> 00:18:15,740
能再具体点吗
Can can can you be a little bit more specific?
521
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:16,720
天啊
Oh, for crying out
522
00:18:16,850 --> 00:18:18,670
他有点缺陷什么的
He's got some kind of disability or something.
523
00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:20,110
你就想让我们说这个吗
Is that what you want us to say?
524
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,280
真的吗
I do?
525
00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:23,350
不是吗 孩子
Well, duh doy, son.
526
00:18:23,650 --> 00:18:26,220
我爱你 孩子
Look, I love you, morty, but we both
527
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:27,990
但我们都清楚 你没别的孩子机灵
know you're not as fast as the other kids, and
528
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,080
如果你想有所成就 就得加倍努力
if you want to compete in this world, you got to work twice as hard.
529
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,660
天啊 老爸
Aw, geez, dad.
530
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,430
你突然和一个小孩子说这些 太沉重了吧
Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once.
531
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:38,270
Morty 告诉你爸妈圆周率的平方根
Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi.
532
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:39,450
别这样 Rick
Oh, come on, Rick.
533
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,110
你知道我不行的
You know I can't.
534
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:40,840
圆周率的平方根
The square root of pi
535
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:41,510
Morty 来吧
Morty go.
536
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,820
1.77245385
1.77245385.
537
00:18:45,270 --> 00:18:45,940
哇哦
Whoa!
538
00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:46,880
怎么搞的
What the hell?
539
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:48,950
天啊 他说的对
Holy crap. He's right.
540
00:18:49,270 --> 00:18:52,440
Morty 热力学第一定律
Morty, tell your parents the first law of thermodynamics.
541
00:18:52,790 --> 00:18:55,120
"一个系统内能的增加等于
"The increment in the internal energy of a system is
542
00:18:55,190 --> 00:18:57,480
等于该系统吸收的热量"
Equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system."
543
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,770
哇 我好聪明
Wow! I'm so smart!
544
00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:02,250
我早跟你们说了学校这玩意儿很蠢
I told the both of you school is stupid.
545
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,520
在那儿学不到东西的
It's not how you learn things.
546
00:19:03,990 --> 00:19:05,130
Morty很有天分
Morty's a gifted child.
547
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,320
他很特别
He has a special mind.
548
00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:07,940
所以他才是我的小助手
That's why he's my little helper.
549
00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:09,230
他就像我
He's like me.
550
00:19:09,370 --> 00:19:12,040
他日后会从事伟大的科学工作
He's gonna be doing great science stuff later in his life.
551
00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:13,620
他太聪明了 学校不适合他
He's too smart for school.
552
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,620
他得继续帮我
H-he needs to keep hanging out and helping me.
553
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,470
Jerry 我不希望这一切就这么结束了
Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop.
554
00:19:19,870 --> 00:19:21,070
我明白
No, I-I understand.
555
00:19:21,150 --> 00:19:23,470
可能是我们反应过度了
Uh, maybe we overreacted.
556
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,210
但他还得继续上学
But he has to keep going to school.
557
00:19:26,570 --> 00:19:27,340
好吧Jerry
Okay, Jerry.
558
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,150
你真会开条件 但我能干嘛呢
You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do?
559
00:19:30,220 --> 00:19:31,630
说不吗
Say say no?
560
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,800
这里毕竟你说了算
You you really wear the pants around here.
561
00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:35,910
我想让你们知道 从现在开始
I just want you to know, between us, from now on
562
00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:39,240
我们互相保证百分百的诚实和公开
it's gonna be 100% honesty and open, clear communication.
563
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,950
Frank Palicky今天被冻死了
Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!
564
00:19:42,070 --> 00:19:43,210
完全不知道你在说啥
No idea what you're talking about.
565
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:44,570
行
Okay.
566
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,770
Morty 再过一个小时你就该上床了
Well, uh, Morty, it's your bedtime in an hour.
567
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,320
别再熬夜了
Don't stay up all night again.
568
00:19:49,590 --> 00:19:50,490
不过这挺好的
This is good, though.
569
00:19:50,740 --> 00:19:51,580
这样能行
This can work.
570
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,900
我们能做一家人
I think we can be a family.
571
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:58,420
Beth 如果你愿意的话 我想和你去床上
And now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you.
572
00:19:58,940 --> 00:19:59,760
你猜咋的
You know what?
573
00:20:00,190 --> 00:20:01,100
好嘞
Okay.
574
00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:02,940
天啊 Rick
Holy cow, Rick.
575
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,450
我都不知道和你在一起让我变聪明了
I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter.
576
00:20:05,650 --> 00:20:07,320
其实吧 没有这回事
Full disclosure, morty it's not.
577
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,270
暂时的超常智力只是
Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect
578
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:12,310
奇异种溶解在你肠道里的副作用
of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity.
579
00:20:12,430 --> 00:20:13,360
噢
Aw, man.
580
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:17,320
一旦种子的效力过去 你会失去大部分运动机能
Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor Skills
581
00:20:17,470 --> 00:20:22,120
以及大部分的大脑功能 持续七十二小时
and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, morty.
582
00:20:22,590 --> 00:20:24,490
从现在开始
Starting right about now.
583
00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:25,560
天啊
Ohh, man.
584
00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:31,590
我很抱歉Morty 不幸的是你确实很蠢
I'm sorry, morty. It's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come.
585
00:20:31,740 --> 00:20:33,730
我真的很需要那些种子
And I needed those seeds real bad
586
00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:35,910
我不得不放弃它们好让你父母别来烦我
and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back
587
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:37,850
因此 我们得去搞来更多的种子
so now we're gonna have to go get more.
588
00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:40,580
在那之后我们还要有更多的冒险 Morty
And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, morty.
589
00:20:41,030 --> 00:20:43,210
而你要保持沉默 Morty
And you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, morty, because
590
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:45,530
因为世上充满了分不清轻重的傻瓜
The world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important
591
00:20:45,950 --> 00:20:47,460
他们会试图分开我们
and they'll tear us apart, morty.
592
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:50,110
但只要你跟着我 我就能完成伟业
But if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things
593
00:20:50,190 --> 00:20:51,510
你也会是伟业的一部分
Morty, and you're gonna be part of them
594
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,540
我们一起东奔西走
and together, we're gonna run around, Morty.
595
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,280
做各种奇妙的事情
We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, morty.
596
00:20:55,530 --> 00:20:56,600
- 就你和我 Morty - 不啊不
- Just you and me, morty. - Oh, no, no.
597
00:20:56,750 --> 00:20:58,920
外面的世界是我们的敌人
The outside world is our enemy, morty.
598
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,120
我们的朋友只有彼此
We're the only friends we've got, Morty.
599
00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:02,390
只有Rick和Morty
It's just rick and morty
600
00:21:02,910 --> 00:21:04,530
Rick和Morty大冒险
Rick and morty and their adventures, morty.
601
00:21:04,820 --> 00:21:06,930
Rick与Morty万年录
Rick and morty forever and forever 100 years
602
00:21:06,980 --> 00:21:08,010
Rick与Morty的故事
rick and morty's things.
603
00:21:08,550 --> 00:21:10,150
Rick与Morty游记
Me and rick and morty running around
604
00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:11,720
Rick与Morty的时光
and rick and morty time.
605
00:21:12,390 --> 00:21:13,790
一整天 到永远
All day long, forever.
606
00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:15,400
一百年
All a hundred days.
607
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,380
Rick与Morty一百遍
Rick and morty forever 100 times.
608
00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:18,640
一遍又一遍
Over and over
609
00:21:18,670 --> 00:21:20,720
瑞克莫蒂大冒险.com
rickandmortyadventures.Com.
610
00:21:20,870 --> 00:21:23,600
www.瑞克与莫蒂.com
www.Rickandmorty.Com.
611
00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:27,450
www.瑞克与莫蒂的大冒险.一百年
www.Rickandmortyadventures. All 100 years.
612
00:21:27,890 --> 00:21:30,190
每分每秒 瑞克莫蒂.com
EVERY MINUTE, rickandmorty.Com.
613
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,990
www.瑞克莫蒂一百遍.com
www.100timesrickandmorty.Com.